.:Felicity House

Success Stories

Mary

It isn’t a unique story really. Anyone who has been in the Program and sat in on a speaker meeting has most likely heard similar words. So let me start by saying thank you for letting me share in this Newsletter my own story, similarities and all.

My name is Mary, and I am an Alcoholic. My drinking and more pronounced drugging started at the age of 16 really, unless you want to count tobacco, a habit I picked up 4 years before that. I was always able to keep my drinking and using under the radar with my family. I come from a large middle class family, and our greatest techniques for survival came in the form of secrets and the “ out of sight out of mind” rule.

This may be where I went a little haywire with my abuse of substances. The more I used, the farther I stayed away from my family. At around the age of thirty I found I had almost no contact with my family, unless it was to come late to an obligatory event or to see where I could get some money for my work was very little at the time. It was at this time my sisters, mother and father intervened on my using, something that came very unexpectedly and was more of a nuscance then anything else. It wasn’t until they heard I had caught a case for possession that they uttered those words that were previously foreign to them…”you are going to rehab”. I went kicking and screaming, though beat by my own self-abuse nonetheless. It was also during this time that my parents learned another popular word around the Program, “enablers”. Yes my family had been the lovely recipients of family counseling at the treatment center in Tarzana, my first rehab that lasted 90 days.

So 90 days later, I was out, I was “cured” and life went back to normal. I did meetings and as long as I was sober, I was given the perks that went away with my using. I was able to move back up north 1year and a half later, and though against my father’s will, moved into an apartment. I made it to 19 months clean and sober when I relapsed, and destroyed everything I had gotten back in my sobriety. I married and in doing that gave the warning signal to my family that I was off my rocker and must be using again.

They offered rehab, I resisted. I finally gave in once my husband went to jail and I had no other resources. The arrest settled it for me. I went into another rehab in the West Side. Unlike my first hospital rehab, this was a bit more of a family setting with a different philosophy on client care. It gave me the foundation I needed for my sobriety this time and 30 days later I was out. My parents repeated the family groups and we all worked together to figure out what was best for my sobriety and me.

One thing I did differently this time was to remain in sober living after rehab, but the one I was in was only short term, and so I had to find another long term one. I moved into Felicity house and was really so lucky to meet all the challenges early sobriety gives while living there. I had not only the foundation now, but also the support of other women building their lives back up like me. I owe my life to Felicity house.

When I was talking to my father this summer, I told him about how I wanted to help Felicity out. He, obviously confused because my rehab is where I got sober, didn’t hesitate to give when I told him that it was at Felicity that I truly got sober, and Felicity that has given me my sober family as well as my own birth family back. What was odd and new to me was that he wasn’t questioning my motives or me. He didn’t wonder if by donating, he was enabling. He knew I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t believe it was necessary and right, and he trusted that instinct in me. This is just one more thing Felicity helped give me back.

So this letter is two part. First I want to thank my family for the everlasting support they have given me in my disease, and the work they’ve done in understanding the dynamics. Even more importantly, I want to thank Felicity house for it’s ongoing support and aid to newly sober girls everywhere, helping us to integrate back into the society that our drinking and using took us so far away from.

There IS a God

I am sober over 17 years by the grace of God and a 12-step program. At age 31, after 15 years of alcoholic drinking that brought with it a myriad of tragedies and sadness, I walked through the doors of AA barely alive; certainly, spiritually dead.

Participation in the 12-step program required a belief in God, or at the very least, a “higher power”. Because I had no concept of God, I decided on some sort of higher power. There had to be SOMETHING, I thought. Just by the fact that I had acquired the desire to try to stop drinking was proof of that. After achieving a month of continuous sobriety, I still had no concept or belief in God. That was about to change.

In Alcoholics Anonymous we are given “chips” during our first year, for certain lengths of sobriety. The day I reached 30 days sober I received a wonderful surprise in my mailbox. I received a letter from an old, dear friend. We had lost touch many years before. As I held the unopened letter in my hand – so happy to see who it was from - I turned it over to open it. On the back of the envelope my friend had written a note. The note said “I wrote this letter a couple months ago – I guess it fell behind the dresser, I just found it and mailed it.” Funny, I thought, how such an important communication I’d wanted to receive for years – arrived on my 30 th day of sobriety. I felt this was somewhat of a miracle.

Several years prior to my entering the 12-step program, by precious Aunt Pat gave me a gift for Christmas. Inside the tiny, perfectly wrapped box was a beautiful emerald ring, along with a hand-written note letting me know she was going to leave this ring to me upon her death. She had decided she wanted me to have it now, probably changing her mind because of the recent death of my father, who was her brother. Having never had anything so pretty and meaningful, I wore the ring proudly, never taking it off. Several months later after awakening from another night of drinking, I discovered the ring missing from my finger. I looked everywhere for it, for weeks. I sadly accepted the fact that I had lost this precious family heirloom, and was devastated I let this happen.

Fast forward many years later, I was now 60 days sober, and receiving a “chip” for 60 continuous days of sobriety. After that night’s meeting I arrived home, sat down and opened my purse to retrieve my “chip”. As I did, a laser-like light hit my eye; its brilliance was just piercing. Puzzled as to what this was, I hesitantly reached down into my purse and reached for the source of the light. It was my Aunt Pat’s ring that I had lost 4 years before. I had used that purse countless times over those 4 years, and never saw that ring until the 60 th day of my sobriety. Calling to mind the miracle of receiving the special letter from my old friend, on my 30 th day sober, I was really beginning to wonder what was going on. I felt I had experienced another small miracle.

At age 21 – ten years prior to my arrival in AA, one of my co-workers was an older woman who was a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous, sober over 20 years. After a couple years of watching me come to work hung-over, Beverly decided to leave “The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous” on my desk. She told me I might want to take a look at it, to see if I thought I might have a drinking problem. I summarily dismissed the suggestion, but placed the book in the back of my closet – where I wouldn’t have to look at it. Ten years later, beaten down, sick and after attending my first AA meeting, I remembered Beverly had given me the AA book. I retrieved it from my closet, opened it, read it, and use it to this day.

When I entered AA, I set out to find my old co-worker Beverly. Although I hadn’t seen her for ten years, I wanted to let her know I finally made it to AA. I followed leads to no avail. I finally received information from a reliable source that Beverly had moved to Oregon, and it was believed she passed away a few years later.

On my 90 th day of continuous sobriety, it was time for me to receive my chip as acknowledgement for this achievement. That day was very stormy, just pouring down rain. Due to the weather, only a handful of dripping wet people were sitting at the Marina Center. When I ascended the podium to receive my chip, I said a few words, as we’re asked to do. As I started to speak, I noticed a small person in a black, wet, raincoat leaning up against the wall, head down. As I thanked the group for my 90-day chip, the drenched person raised her head. It was my old co-worker Beverly – the one who had given me my AA book 10 years earlier, the one I tried so hard to find to tell her “I made it”. She recognized me, too, and a knowing smile grew on her face. After all I’d gone through to find her, after learning of her supposed demise – here she was - and on such a meaningful day for me. “Running into” Beverly this day, was no chance meeting. I felt this was another miracle. And I knew, then, that I had experienced three of them and they were purposeful in nature.

I know that the subject of miracles can be a touchy one. I believe they are not handed out frequently and if by chance they happen - are not to be taken lightly. But I am eternally grateful to God that he hit this unbeliever over the head with these three miracles, for it made me realize he exists, he loves me and is real. My “higher power” became God on my 90 th day of sobriety. On that day, I realized, “There IS a God”.

Barbara S.

	Success Stories Mary It isn’t a unique story really. Anyone who has been in the Program and sat in on a speaker meeting has most likely heard similar words. So let me start by saying thank you for letting me share in this Newsletter my own story, similarities and all. My name is Mary, and I am an Alcoholic. My drinking and more pronounced drugging started at the age of 16 really, unless you want to count tobacco, a habit I picked up 4 years before that. I was always able to keep my drinking and using under the radar with my family. I come from a large middle class family, and our greatest techniques for survival came in the form of secrets and the “ out of sight out of mind” rule. This may be where I went a little haywire with my abuse of substances. The more I used, the farther I stayed away from my family. At around the age of thirty I found I had almost no contact with my family, unless it was to come late to an obligatory event or to see where I could get some money for my work was very little at the time. It was at this time my sisters, mother and father intervened on my using, something that came very unexpectedly and was more of a nuscance then anything else. It wasn’t until they heard I had caught a case for possession that they uttered those words that were previously foreign to them…”you are going to rehab”. I went kicking and screaming, though beat by my own self-abuse nonetheless. It was also during this time that my parents learned another popular word around the Program, “enablers”. Yes my family had been the lovely recipients of family counseling at the treatment center in Tarzana, my first rehab that lasted 90 days. So 90 days later, I was out, I was “cured” and life went back to normal. I did meetings and as long as I was sober, I was given the perks that went away with my using. I was able to move back up north 1year and a half later, and though against my father’s will, moved into an apartment. I made it to 19 months clean and sober when I relapsed, and destroyed everything I had gotten back in my sobriety. I married and in doing that gave the warning signal to my family that I was off my rocker and must be using again. They offered rehab, I resisted. I finally gave in once my husband went to jail and I had no other resources. The arrest settled it for me. I went into another rehab in the West Side. Unlike my first hospital rehab, this was a bit more of a family setting with a different philosophy on client care. It gave me the foundation I needed for my sobriety this time and 30 days later I was out. My parents repeated the family groups and we all worked together to figure out what was best for my sobriety and me. One thing I did differently this time was to remain in sober living after rehab, but the one I was in was only short term, and so I had to find another long term one. I moved into Felicity house and was really so lucky to meet all the challenges early sobriety gives while living there. I had not only the foundation now, but also the support of other women building their lives back up like me. I owe my life to Felicity house. When I was talking to my father this summer, I told him about how I wanted to help Felicity out. He, obviously confused because my rehab is where I got sober, didn’t hesitate to give when I told him that it was at Felicity that I truly got sober, and Felicity that has given me my sober family as well as my own birth family back. What was odd and new to me was that he wasn’t questioning my motives or me. He didn’t wonder if by donating, he was enabling. He knew I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t believe it was necessary and right, and he trusted that instinct in me. This is just one more thing Felicity helped give me back. So this letter is two part. First I want to thank my family for the everlasting support they have given me in my disease, and the work they’ve done in understanding the dynamics. Even more importantly, I want to thank Felicity house for it’s ongoing support and aid to newly sober girls everywhere, helping us to integrate back into the society that our drinking and using took us so far away from. There IS a God I am sober over 17 years by the grace of God and a 12-step program. At age 31, after 15 years of alcoholic drinking that brought with it a myriad of tragedies and sadness, I walked through the doors of AA barely alive; certainly, spiritually dead. Participation in the 12-step program required a belief in God, or at the very least, a “higher power”. Because I had no concept of God, I decided on some sort of higher power. There had to be SOMETHING, I thought. Just by the fact that I had acquired the desire to try to stop drinking was proof of that. After achieving a month of continuous sobriety, I still had no concept or belief in God. That was about to change. In Alcoholics Anonymous we are given “chips” during our first year, for certain lengths of sobriety. The day I reached 30 days sober I received a wonderful surprise in my mailbox. I received a letter from an old, dear friend. We had lost touch many years before. As I held the unopened letter in my hand – so happy to see who it was from - I turned it over to open it. On the back of the envelope my friend had written a note. The note said “I wrote this letter a couple months ago – I guess it fell behind the dresser, I just found it and mailed it.” Funny, I thought, how such an important communication I’d wanted to receive for years – arrived on my 30 th day of sobriety. I felt this was somewhat of a miracle. Several years prior to my entering the 12-step program, by precious Aunt Pat gave me a gift for Christmas. Inside the tiny, perfectly wrapped box was a beautiful emerald ring, along with a hand-written note letting me know she was going to leave this ring to me upon her death. She had decided she wanted me to have it now, probably changing her mind because of the recent death of my father, who was her brother. Having never had anything so pretty and meaningful, I wore the ring proudly, never taking it off. Several months later after awakening from another night of drinking, I discovered the ring missing from my finger. I looked everywhere for it, for weeks. I sadly accepted the fact that I had lost this precious family heirloom, and was devastated I let this happen. Fast forward many years later, I was now 60 days sober, and receiving a “chip” for 60 continuous days of sobriety. After that night’s meeting I arrived home, sat down and opened my purse to retrieve my “chip”. As I did, a laser-like light hit my eye; its brilliance was just piercing. Puzzled as to what this was, I hesitantly reached down into my purse and reached for the source of the light. It was my Aunt Pat’s ring that I had lost 4 years before. I had used that purse countless times over those 4 years, and never saw that ring until the 60 th day of my sobriety. Calling to mind the miracle of receiving the special letter from my old friend, on my 30 th day sober, I was really beginning to wonder what was going on. I felt I had experienced another small miracle. At age 21 – ten years prior to my arrival in AA, one of my co-workers was an older woman who was a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous, sober over 20 years. After a couple years of watching me come to work hung-over, Beverly decided to leave “The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous” on my desk. She told me I might want to take a look at it, to see if I thought I might have a drinking problem. I summarily dismissed the suggestion, but placed the book in the back of my closet – where I wouldn’t have to look at it. Ten years later, beaten down, sick and after attending my first AA meeting, I remembered Beverly had given me the AA book. I retrieved it from my closet, opened it, read it, and use it to this day. When I entered AA, I set out to find my old co-worker Beverly. Although I hadn’t seen her for ten years, I wanted to let her know I finally made it to AA. I followed leads to no avail. I finally received information from a reliable source that Beverly had moved to Oregon, and it was believed she passed away a few years later. On my 90 th day of continuous sobriety, it was time for me to receive my chip as acknowledgement for this achievement. That day was very stormy, just pouring down rain. Due to the weather, only a handful of dripping wet people were sitting at the Marina Center. When I ascended the podium to receive my chip, I said a few words, as we’re asked to do. As I started to speak, I noticed a small person in a black, wet, raincoat leaning up against the wall, head down. As I thanked the group for my 90-day chip, the drenched person raised her head. It was my old co-worker Beverly – the one who had given me my AA book 10 years earlier, the one I tried so hard to find to tell her “I made it”. She recognized me, too, and a knowing smile grew on her face. After all I’d gone through to find her, after learning of her supposed demise – here she was - and on such a meaningful day for me. “Running into” Beverly this day, was no chance meeting. I felt this was another miracle. And I knew, then, that I had experienced three of them and they were purposeful in nature. I know that the subject of miracles can be a touchy one. I believe they are not handed out frequently and if by chance they happen - are not to be taken lightly. But I am eternally grateful to God that he hit this unbeliever over the head with these three miracles, for it made me realize he exists, he loves me and is real. My “higher power” became God on my 90 th day of sobriety. On that day, I realized, “There IS a God”. Barbara S.